woman in my mind

Damn all my deflated honesty.
I erase it all in my mind
and here I find it on paper
little masochist hoping someone will read
so I can be a little more uncomfortable in my skin
oohh yes thats right.
so I can imagine someone is longing for me
my withered insecurity looks around these pages
and finds thoughts and c****
torn and abandoned
lust is a a little less sticky
between me and my own demands
cause your a little too bossy and you don't play so nice
if your not the only one getting attention
even when its just us at night.
so I am looking around at all these rants and raves
torrents of lust so ripe it pains this vixen between my thighs
and all this commotion in my heart
is taking away from the woman in my mind
and probably lust and pain and love shouldn't
but they go hand in hand so I'm sitting this hand out.
cause even a masochist can understand
love shouldnt be lacking as much as this.

player

look at all these players on either side of me
telling me who I should beware of
clever little boys pulling at my heart strings
hoping I wont notice who isn't being good or kind
This intuition is hounding and unrelenting
How can I be your little anything
if you wont be any kind of real to me?
what did I know in the beginning?
that your smart enough to be dangerous?
greedy enough to believe these blue eyes as they were going down?
and I keep choking on the thought that I'm not your only one
How can you desire me, long for me, even without respect for me?
I don't know how much longer I should keep pretending
but I have my reasons
I don't know how to play your games
and you must be good cause you say you always win
I'm better at pulling dirty punches
I know things that you wont tell me I know things I shouldn't know
I know you have never messed up as bad as you did
when you let me in your front door
maybe you don't get why I am still hanging around
bringing you sweetness, climbing all over you, playing house
because your messing with my emotions and my trust
eating my heart out of some other girl's lust
I beg you better pray you know what your doing
your messing around with a carper, a deviant, a Vixen
And I've been watching how you think your so clever
really, your not much of a player-
so I suppose what you take from me wont get you down
but if I were you, I'd be careful what you've been given