Tuesday, September 20

i have so many things that come to mind when i think of you. so many things that i want to and need to and would love to say. you have broken my heart. you have shattered my world and took my light and my love with you. and i forgive you, i understand that your motives don't intend malice or harmed behaviours. so can you understand that your actions have robbed me of all the creatures and connections that GOD deemed should so be? and these are the most precious tethers i have in this world. to keep me rooted to the good and to keep me grounded to what is best. where does one look for light or good, for encouragement to embrace what is fair? when all those people who are anchored in my world have been pulled out of reach and pushed away?
how can you say you have my heart and souls best interests in mind when I'm dying and hearts are braking? how can you tell me its for the better good of everyone to keep apart these bonds so sweetly gifted to me? how can you not call or reach out to me as your daughter or as my mother? and still tell me that it is in the best interest for me to be bereaved and sorrowful and alienated from all of my only connections to love, to my mother, my sisters, my FAMILY??

i think you have underestimated the destructive impact of your actions and can only hope that you make your self available to the mercy of my heart and consider putting yourself in my shoes for just a moment to evaluate "all your best intentions" and ultimately change your approach immediately to start making this " a really positive thing".