duplicity

what is this duplicity I have created within me?
How do I become connected to the connection that eludes me?
what is the preface i have been living for all these years?
if I have been myself, but I haven't been seeing me for who I am?
What does that mean to me? Who am I? Where have I been
when I have been looking in the mirror, is it me looking back at me?
how is it that it all seems different
after just a few words?
Who's advice should I take?
why does thinking that things could be different make me cry?
perhaps because there is more than me at stake
perhaps because I never knew there was a problem
but if I never knew, what kind of person could that make me?
Is it me? Have I turned myself against thee?
All of these relationships I have, with all of these people that I meet.
what do they matter, what do they mean?
Is it me talking? Or is it more duplicity?

her highness in love

Silly parlour games. Silly woman thinking we all think the same
silly life you think your living, such a pretty face and such a small world to live in
defining your eyes by other peoples standards.
Giving away kisses when they all deserve the kiss off.
Shining like a diamond under the sun. shining like a mother dim without one
wanting more and giving less
All of the fury and none of the heroine
of course your a fatal beauty, your putting your life asunder for this mess
and if you ask, who will blink? On your behalf?
all of the charms from your little girl world have gotten you this far
but if your not buttering your toast with jam
your serving someone else for worse then you stand for
and in your eyes and in your life lay pearls and whispers of wise and adoration
and will you sing?
because you belong to the royal army of her majesty and knights in armour
and your heart is heavy and your breath laden with thoughts of sin
so can you escape the thoughts that beg, you are better than this?
You have worked so hard to end up so far from where you should be standing
and its a long way down to the feet of the crown for a priestess, a vixen
a Queen a Woman; you know better, your better than where you are
no more sugar games, no jesters, they are all the same-
your better than where you landed
When you get there it is all too kind. The life, the freedom, the recognition that you are royalty and everything is yours to define.

in the west unknown

all of these my own meandering.
slow burning Wit waiting for reciprocation
and where do these thoughts travel from
when they filter through to this life?
from where are all my passions placed?
in love, in lust in consciences binding soul?
How do I know who is good to think for?
when will I be burned for knowing and writing more?
who can you trust if you never leave your house?
who can you hold if you never turn the lights out?
why all this practise in the art of self preservation
if the route to good intentions barely has light to be seen in?
all of these musings, like all of these little crickets
I am banking on the last shot in the bottle says you don't notice
and if I get caught beginning to show you my true colors
how can I hide if I cant lie and lay down like all the others?
no thoughts left to regulate. I don't care if you wont associate.
I didn't get born just so you could put me out
I have my own brand that needs to be strewn about
in the end of all mad mans rambles
is a woman who works to put down the candles
and when the quill is warn and the appetite wet
this woman will pour out her magic and her sweat.
and at last history demands a name to take credit
the most memorable name is a name unknown