duplicity

what is this duplicity I have created within me?
How do I become connected to the connection that eludes me?
what is the preface i have been living for all these years?
if I have been myself, but I haven't been seeing me for who I am?
What does that mean to me? Who am I? Where have I been
when I have been looking in the mirror, is it me looking back at me?
how is it that it all seems different
after just a few words?
Who's advice should I take?
why does thinking that things could be different make me cry?
perhaps because there is more than me at stake
perhaps because I never knew there was a problem
but if I never knew, what kind of person could that make me?
Is it me? Have I turned myself against thee?
All of these relationships I have, with all of these people that I meet.
what do they matter, what do they mean?
Is it me talking? Or is it more duplicity?