Greif and God

What are all of these highlighted
points in my life dotted with?
It looks like grief. how is this!
Since it has been GodI gave all my prayers to?
And what about all of my relationships
that I have looked after?
Finally all of the heartbreak
that I caused and wanted to repair.
I have tried to forfeit all of my pride and pity.
So why do I feel this pain?
A loss and disbelief that I could try so hard,
and fail. so it feels.
God are you there?
Its me. Persephone.
Didn't I do my job so far?
Why cant I see the ending the way I pictured it?
Please don't tell me that I waited to long.
I try so hard all day.
And I have patience. I know its a virtue
I want to ask please believe in me.
I deserve my blessings.
Give them back to me.
Fulfill me.
Take me at face value.
But please don't be fooled.
Least of all I am to be fooled by me.
Would you let me --
how can I know I am answered?
I feel like a little girl
and the currents too strong where I stand.
But I need to be here right?
And I am strong I could make it if I tried?
Please wont you help me?
Because I know that then if you help me,
I would thrive.