braver than the lie

Well, I see how brave you are
as I am running around in all of my own unleashing
pulling at the frays of my perception
exposing all of my truths, I am for better or worse spilling out with honesty
I guess action is to hold to accountability
I shouldn't want your reaction,
but since I am so good at it, I will admit,
its been a couple of days and I am still looking for a response,
so I can know how you feel
I thought I was such a selfish person and yet its been
a year and a half and still some days your the only thing on my mind
So maybe that is how I choose to get back at you
fill you up in my mind and mingle with all the nicest of our memories
forget to forgive all the others just so I can picture what we both know would have never been
and now I see who's brave because here I am taking time to write lies
all the while I bet your convincing your heart you never kissed me
pretending you never met me.
Mirror mirror on the wall, who's was the truest love of all?
You wont ever want for an answer still I would like to think somewhere deep you know
But it doesn't seem to matter, I wouldn't take you back if I could.

I can't
I can only try to clean up this little mess that is my heart
and hope the next time I give away something to break it is more forgiving, like porcelain or glass.