Saturday, January 24

ladaH

Ungrateful; biting tongue
tongue in cheek
mouth covering my hand
you cant trust anything I say today
I cant trust the ways you make me feel
The ways I feel about you
Everything is written backwards and wrong
thinking thoughts of a million different women
This must be the cusp of something big
a deep crevice into the being of who I am
Who I have been is no longer where I am
and I am descending further down..down..
so that I might climb out and reach up again?
I am reaching below a thousand fathoms
I am sinking beneath my heart
now I can really see what beats inside of me
the thoughts, the needs that course through me
the feelings and the desires of who I am
And I am slipping past them all
on this journey of who I really am
I am base needs and understandings
I am forsaken and forgiven
I am unrelenting and risen
I am a Queen of fortune
and I rise
I am reaching for the light
even as I never leave the darkest parts of who I am.

Tuesday, January 13

us

I am treading water with you.
Waiting for your love.
and I don't wait too long
for you come at me like a deep fog
so consuming and unrelenting
penetrating every inch of me
my small frame, waiting for you
I am saturated with your thoughts, your words.
pierced by adamant needs and wants.
when will you be beside me?
when will you never disappear?
into the backbone of who we are,
into the afterthought of our time
into the depth of our memories
I want to make new things
make babies make love
make kindness in the world
create forgiveness and compassion
forge understanding, learning..
I want a new life together..a life that is ours..