purge!!!!

What if its all about me?
the most selfish girl in the world?
All of these insecurities and ravenous needs?
I am billing myself out a little too loud but at least I am popular
disliking so much to be just another girl in the crowds of faces.
And Do i even call myself pretty anymore?
it used to be so transparent how much I needed it
I have been waiting for the mistakes of others
to take them while I watch; tumbling to the ground
If this is me i am sure this is not pretty
really so unfashionable- in my own inner workings-
haven't looked at a dictionary in almost as long as I haven't masturbated
and I'm pretty sure i cried today. oh yeah--because I hate everybody
who is this high little priestess? no self loathing only sulking
oh look zac i am rhyming again
I want to be... for every one I love and there are so many
and I want to give all I have
and I really find myself looking in the mirror now
to see how i look when I feel smart
and If it really makes a difference I believe I can
I do think I am smart and its OK to cry and I want to get married
and I want to fuck that little red head and my brothers best friend
and oh-- I want to get a little more drunk
damn, I am starting to feel like myself again.